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At mother's funeral, friends speak out about domestic abuse
12:00 AM CDT on Tuesday, June 5, 2007
WEATHERFORD – Those who knew Gilberta Estrada Vega sent a message Monday to women who are abused: Speak out and seek help. "Any woman who is suffering domestic violence must speak out," Filly Echeverría said as she stood near the fresh graves of the 25-year-old mother who committed suicide and the three daughters she hanged. "Don't be ashamed," added María Martínez, who met Ms. Estrada Vega at a battered women's shelter in Tarrant County. "Don't think there is no one to help you. Don't take this drastic measure, if you are a woman who lives alone with children and thinks no one can help." Grief rippled through many communities over last week's deaths of Ms. Estrada Vega, who some say was recently depressed, and three of her four children – 5-year-old Maria Teresa Estrada Vega, 3-year-old Yaneth Frayre and 21-month-old Magaly Frayre. A Baptist church in Weatherford held a prayer vigil for the Catholic family. Mexican immigrant leaders in Dallas and Cleburne talked about the prevalence of depression. And survivors of domestic violence from Fort Worth saw pieces of their own stories in Ms. Estrada Vega's. "Many of us go back to our husbands," said a woman who identified herself only as Isabel. "We don't have the support of anyone," Sara Carranza added. Both immigrant women met Ms. Estrada Vega at the SafeHaven shelter in Fort Worth last year. Chief among their problems was finding help in Spanish, they said. Help for immigrants, particularly those in the U.S. illegally, is limited. This January, the Mexican Consulate in Dallas began its first program to assist victims of domestic violence among the Mexican immigrant population. Eduardo Rea, who works with protective services, said the consulate also has a network of psychologists and other mental health care professionals who provide free services, and the consulate staff is ready to assist with referrals. "We have done it many times with young people," Mr. Rea said. Already, the Dallas consulate, one of the largest in the nation, is handling about three dozen cases. Mr. Rea noted that many cases are also handled by Catholic Charities of Dallas, which has a lengthy track record in assisting abused immigrants in their native languages. The vulnerability of indocumentados , as Mr. Rea called those who live in the U.S. illegally, is particularly high, he said. The Family Place, a Dallas shelter and social service agency for those in abusive relationships, also offers services to Spanish-speakers 24 hours a day, said Paige Flink, the executive director. "It is hard because of the legal battles they face," Ms. Flink said. "You don't have to be a legal immigrant to receive our services." Mexican immigrant associations in the Dallas-Fort Worth area said they needed to expand their services. "Depression among immigrants is huge," said Jorge Navarrete, a Cleburne resident who leads an immigrant home-state association. "We need to be with community groups when we have a depression that we can't escape." Ms. Estrada Vega had her own struggles. Court records detail allegations of abuse by the father of three of her four children. She had an employment authorization card that came with a pending application for a U visa, given to victims of domestic abuse, said an Immigration and Customs Enforcement spokesman. She made about $350 a week, before taxes, working at a Wendy's fast-food restaurant, Mr. Rea said. Some said she was worried about money problems and health care for her children. On Monday, the Rev. John Casey of St. Stephen's Catholic Church in Weatherford led mourners gathered at East Greenwood Cemetery. Afterward, the priest, an Irish immigrant, said he couldn't explain what had gone so wrong. "It doesn't make sense to us why this woman should die so violently," he said. "Everyone who knew this family is questioning why. And we can only ask the Lord to see us through it. And we need to encourage the children to express their sadness. ... Otherwise, the children cry alone, and that is not healthy." Ms. Estrada Vega's mother, Antonia Vega, shrouded her face throughout the services in a black lace mantilla – a veil common among Catholic churchgoing women of an older generation. Her husband, Benancio Estrada, stood at her side, along with Alejandra Estrada, the older sister who found the bodies in their trailer home in Hudson Oaks, near Weatherford, and rescued 8-month-old Evelyn Frayre. The family declined to speak to reporters. Yaneth and Magaly were buried over the weekend by their father in a private service. Gregorio Frayre Rodriguez did not attend Monday's service and could not be reached for comment. His attorney didn't return phone calls. At the cemetery, Ms. Echeverría defended Ms. Estrada Vega, her " comadre "– a term that means co-mother and describes the special relationship between a mother and a godmother. "She was a wonderful woman," Ms. Echeverría said. "She would fight for her girls." Ms. Echeverría couldn't explain her friend's actions, but said life's hardships can be overcome. "We all know that one can go on," she said. "There are many ways."
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